One Bite and All Your Dreams Will Come True

It seems typical that every time you feel things are going well and you are on top of the world, something will always happen and throw you off balance.

I have always thought they call New York the 'Big Apple' because it is delicious and sweet and everyone wants to have a bite (factual reference can be found here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Apple) Sometimes, though, an apple a day does not necessarily keep the doctor away.  (If you are in doubt, please have a chat to Snow White, or Eve - you get my gist)

This is the week during which the Big Apple kicked my sorry Sydney bottom.  Now where should I start?

After signing the lease for our apartment I finally have my proof of residency and got my first ever US bank account.  However everyone knows a bank account and a debit card is no good use unless there is some mula in it!  As per our Kept Woman Agreement Nelson initiated an online transfer to my account (the joy).  Next thing you know - both our accounts got frozen.  Couldn't take money out, couldn't access internet banking, nope, it is Elsa frozen.  I rang the Chase support line and got the classic 'computer says no' response 'I cannot tell you anything ma'am, you will have to visit a branch with your proof of ID'.  Nelson got the same thing.  This was on Monday - and I ended up having to borrow cash from Jen, my overseas visitor (oh the embarrassment).  On Tuesday, Nelson had to take time off work and visited the branch with me.  Turned out because both of our accounts were so new, as soon as there was a transaction between the two, Fraud Detection picked it up and block our accounts.  1) It would have been nice to send me a text and at least tell me my account was blocked and 2) told me the reason the block was put on our accounts 3) It is fine to lock Nelson's account - he is dodgy and that was his money, but what have I done?!  Why couldn't I access my fund that had nothing to do with the fraudster!

After spending a decent time having both our IDs checked by the banker, both our accounts were finally un-locked and I could access MY money again (yeepee).  What do I do with the money?  Go buy tickets to our first NBA game of course!  (I swear this is related to my bank story)

I spent hours researching which game to go to.  Our apartment is within walking distance to Madison Square Garden and it seems such a waste not to at least check out a few games.  The problem is I have zero knowledge on basketball.  Apparently the New York Knicks is not that hot at the moment, does that mean I should pick another mediocre team (so you never know who is going to lose), or do I pick a strong opposite team (so they can show us how balls should be played).  After consulting friends who are in the know I decided to watch the Knicks vs Charlotte Hornets game in November.  (I would at least know one player - Jeremy Lin, if everything else flied over my head)  I then spent another hour checking out the seats, so we can take advantage of cheap tickets but still... you know, see the game.  Now I am ready to commit:  hit the button!  Linsanity here I come!

Error message 'your transaction cannot be proceeded at this time, please try again later'.

What the hell?  There must have been too many people fighting for NBA tickets - fine.  Let me buy this shower curtain from Anthropologie and I will come back to the tickets later.  Same error message at Anthropologie...  my last resort - Seamless.  I have been ordering dinner from Seamless every night - if it still did not work it had to be my card.  It didn't work.  I called the dreadful Chase line, 'I cannot tell you anything ma'am, please go visit a branch'.  I asked 'can you at least tell me if my card is blocked?' 'Apologies ma'am - I can't tell you that.'  WHAT IS WRONT WITH THIS PLACE!?

After another branch visit, I was advised that what happened this time around is that the lease I supplied as proof of residence has many pages, and until the back office went through all pages and were satisfied it is a sufficient document, my account/card would be blocked.  This is extremely frustrating but there was nothing I could do apart from saying 'thank you' with a smile.  I am starting to think if there is a super power turning me into religion Chase Bank may be it!

While my bank account was drifting in and out of consciousness, I was also gearing up on preparation to move into our new home.  I rang the live-in Superintendent to make an appointment to pick up the key.  And the woman yelled at me throughout the call.  (I later on found out she was a bit deaf - but at the time I thought she just didn't like me very much) I also had to work with our building manager who does not use email (at this day and age, really?!).  Just to make life more interesting for me in New York, 2 out of the 3 furniture stores I bought from refused to work directly with the building manager on the Certificate of Insurance (this is if the delivery person damaged your building in the process, the furniture store has insurance to cover the cost to have things repaired so neither you or your building would be liable).   The COI is also based on the delivery, rather than the store.  I ordered a queen bed and 2 bedside tables (they call them nightstands here) from West Elm - for some reason the bed had to be ordered via their online store while the nightstands from the actual shop.  This means:  1) 2 x COIs 2) 2 different order numbers 3) online order can be tracked while store order can't, and 4) 2 different delivery dates.  It goes on and on and on...

Without going into an endless rant - let me wrap this up here and confirm that 'Customer Experience' is an actual thing.   As Businesses we all would have a hard lesson to learn if we think having great products alone is enough.

Week 3 highlights:

- World Percussion Center of New York:  I was fortunate enough to participate in the Program's Grand Opening Retreat with 5 hour straight of sample percussion classes, taught by the best teachers in the industry.  On top of the really awesome Djembe class, I also tried playing the Cajon (the thing that look like a box), the Shekere (the thing that looks like a pumpkin wearing a beaded skirt), and the Conga (the cool drum played in Jazz bands).  There were also some really amazing performances on the Balaphone and the Gjyl.  I even did some yodelling!  It was really lovely and it reminds me of how much I miss going to a class.  And the slightly spiritual touch of the music classes somehow made me feel so much better about the challenging week I had.  I have now signed up my new weekly Djembe class and I am going to my first session tomorrow night - can't wait to rock some new rhythms!

Famoro Dioubate working the Balaphone like a magician

- Somewhere that feels like 'home':  Two things I will really miss about Sydney:  The harbour and the ferry.  Imagine my pleasant surprise when I found two mini pieces of delights here in New York City.  A friend took me to Battery Park City and it felt SO MUCH like Sydney (even the seagulls).  On a different day I also caught the East River Ferry from Williamsburg in Brooklyn to Manhattan and it was absolutely lovely.  The size (of both the ferry and the harbour) is no comparison to Sydney - but for now it is enough to cure the tiny bit of homesickness.

The East River Ferry going under the famous
Brooklyn Bridge

Battery Park City - just like Darling Harbour

- The Womlet:  Nelson and I went to a cafe called the Comfort Diner (E 45th St in Midtown) and I tried their famous Womlet - a waffle PLUS an omelette.  It is delicious in a really strange way.  You have the slightly sweet flavoured waffle at the bottom (with maple syrup), and the savoury omelette (onion, mushroom, and cheese) on top.  Somehow, it works.  Bonus point to waitresses walking around with the coffee pot asking you if you want a re-fill, just like how it is in the movies.

The Womlet

Next week:  Moving into our new home!

Real Housewives of NYC (yeah right)

Nelson officially started work and I officially started my life as a faux housewife (no I haven't cooked a single meal yet...)!

Focus for the week was to organise furniture and essentials for our new home.  (We did not ship our furniture from Sydney and instead opted to lease out our Manly apartment as furnished.  Firstly I don't think I could camp on the floor live without furniture for 3 months, which is roughly how long shipping takes, and that is the best case scenario, one of Nelson's work friends is still waiting for theirs since they moved here in May.  Also - what better way to mark a new beginning than to start our new life with brand new furniture right?  right?)

My plan is to scout good basic stuff at the local IKEA, and 'mix and match' them with 'interesting' pieces from other stores.  After I have the furniture sorted, I will buy other essentials online (shower curtain, kettle, chopping board, etc. it is scary how much 'stuff' one needs to live just a basic life.  You would think all those camping trips has taught me a lesson - sadly no).

Before furniture though I had to get 'window treatment'.  When I first heard about the term I thought it means to get our windows tinted like badasses.  Took me a while to realise it means getting curtains/blinds.  Our new home is a ground floor apartment (yay to being stairs-free, nay to sticky beaks peeking in!) and I needed to get 'treatment' for all our 5 windows.  I am surprised the previous tenants brought whatever they had with them, but heard it is quite common here.  Renters also organise their own air conditioning unit(s) and bring them to the next apartment.  Okay, when in Rome.... order window treatment.  (3 trips to the shop and the 'Design Consultant' felt the need to share her menopause story with me on all trips - I am doing whatever it takes to get the blinds!)

Exhibit B

Now I am ready to make a trip to the opposite type of place to Disneyland, the most stress-induced place on earth which is the local IKEA.  The only store in NYC is located in Red Hook, Brooklyn.  I decided to catch the train and walk 2km to the store and reward myself with meatballs and mash.  I got off the train at a pretty nice station where you could see Manhattan in the distance.  (please see exhibit B).  What I did not realise though, was that the 2km hike to IKEA was through an industrial area.  There was literally no one, only warehouses, factories, and junk yards.  I expected to see stressed out people walking in opposite directions carrying those famous blue IKEA bags (which may I add is a life saver, I wouldn't have been able to de-clutter our old apartment in 3 weeks without my 2 precious blue bags.  They are here with me in NYC - they earned the trip).  But the only live form I came across was this friendly cat.  (now please refer to exhibit C)

Exhibit C

I was pleased to make it to meatball HQ after a pleasant but bizarre walk.  Now I can see people (phew).  Perhaps because it was a week day, it was very quiet inside the store and not the chaotic but lively atmosphere I have got used to in Sydney.

I went to sit on some chairs and sofas, lie on some beds, open some drawers, and shake some shelves (to see if they might topple - they didn't) and squeeze some cushions.  In a way IKEA is very much like MacDonald's.  They are the same all over the world and almost act as a security blanket for the new kid(s) in town.  Even the meatballs tasted the same.  I can't deny it was a nice feeling.  :-)

I found out through some research on the internet that many companies here provide shopping+delivery+assembly service.  They will do the shopping for you according to your 'shopping list' (which can be created on the IKEA website).  The company I ended up booking even offered to do the shopping in New Jersey to save me money on tax.  (NY tax = 8.8%, NJ = 3.5%).  They will then deliver and assemble your furniture at your place.  Will report back later on how I find the service.

As I was leaving IKEA I noticed all the 'normal' people catch the bus (strictly speaking I think normal people would just drive there but let's not get technical here) so I followed them and ended up in Brooklyn downtown area and it was really nice!  Now what was Miranda on about sucking on lemon having to move to Brooklyn?!  I spent some time in Barnes & Noble (I do miss visiting a bookshop which is a rare sight in Sydney these days) and bought an interior design magazine all pleased with myself - only to find out after I got home that it was from the UK.  This housewife fails.

For the rest of the week I visited CB2 at Soho which my broker/future neighbour raved about.  I totally fell in love with a gnome table lamp (don't worry Nelson - I didn't), Home Depot (Bunnings I miss you), West Elm (nice stuff, bad customer service), and numerous little shops in the neighborhood.   I also checked out Bed, Bath and Beyond and almost bought this (exhibit D) and this (exhibit E).  This is all on top of all the Halloween distraction decoration all over the place wherever I go.

Exhibit D

Exhibit E

Every morning I set out feeling energetic and positive but often went home with my head overloaded with information and the dread that there was more stuff we need.  And I thought I loved shopping! Now the idea of camping for 3 months didn't seem as bad....

May the force be with me (Repeat after me:  I do not need the help of geeky toys).

Week 2 highlights:

- First NYC selfie... on the subway (where else?).  I had been in New York for only a week and had overseas visitor already!  To honor the occasion a selfie was called (forced on me).  Had to include my new local hero Mr. I-Have-a-Bad-Hair-Day-Everyday.  I later on witnessed how to do a selfie like a boss.  (Honestly dude if you can afford a Macbook you can afford a phone)

Ladies and Gentlemen this is how you do a selfie

- High Tea at the Plaza:  totally touristy and totally worth it.  Best food in high tea I have ever had.  Everything was fresh and delicate and the tea was fabulous.  Service was warm but professional.

- Heaps of people asked me for directions.  I either already look like a local or have one of those faces that says 'I know where I am going'.

Coming up for week 3:  How New York kicked my arse... stay tuned!

Show Me the Money!

My very limited information on living in New York City, sadly, is entirely based on all 6 seasons of 'Sex and the City'.  This means 1) my knowledge is at least 11 years out of date, and 2) my expectation hasn't been adequately set up regards how much space you get in a New York apartment, and 3) I have a biased resistance on potentially living in Brooklyn (remember how devastated when Miranda had to move to Brooklyn and they all got drunk together because one of the 4 girls was no longer cool?)

The visual I imagined in my head of my first week in NYC , was to stroll through Central Park with Nelson (yes, with hot dogs in hand) under the early autumn leaves, dinner at some famous local joints, and a couple of visits to late night jazz bars (all in different outfits of course).

Reason of the big move across half of the world from Sydney and giving up the job I hate love, will be revealed either in future posts, now I am unemployed and have time to blog again, or in a published memoir if I make it big time one day - will keep you boys and gals posted.

Reality check:  more Jerry Maguire than *insert your favourite NYC-based romantic comedy name*. 

First thing first:  You are not a proper human being until you have a social security number!  This was kicked off with minimum drama (although with a slight detour as we went to the wrong SSN office plus Nelson saw from a dysfunctional website that they open from 5am - when we told the doorman he literally LOL'ed).

Next:  Open a bank account.  I now have even bigger respect for my parents who decided to make the big move to NZ 20 years ago.  Especially mum who completed a one year recon until dad went and joined us.  Things you take for granted at home such as having a credit card, being able to press some buttons and get cash from a machine on the roadside, etc., have all become mini missions of their own.  We found out that a passport and an offer letter from an employer are not sufficient proof to open an account.  You need a proof of residence address too.  Nelson had to write to his never-met-yet colleagues and asked them to write the bank a letter.  (And because I don't have a job I won't have someone proving I live in a particular address until we find our new home.  Scenes from 'John Q' start popping up all over - should plan for a Danzel Washington style rage all over the foyer of Chase bank hahaha)

Next:  Apartment viewings.  New York rental brokers have already impressed me with their speed at replying emails (especially when I sent an email at midnight and got a reply within 15 minutes) but man, trying to get an apartment here is brutal.  It is first come first served so if you like what you see you put down an application (and one month deposit) quick.  We checked out 8 apartments in total within the first two days and was force fed technical terms such as walk up (stairs and stairs), doorman (they will open the door for you and receive delivery on your behalf?), elevator man (they are not doormen but will operate the elevator for you?), live-in Super (which sounds very much like the dragon lady in the girls dormitory), Tenant's broker (who supposedly represent us), Landlord's broker (who definitely do not work for us), steam heating (still not entirely sure how that works),  Pre-war building (which war?  the civil war?!), co-op (okay that is tougher than a job interview), and many more.

After checking out the neighbourhoods (I need to start writing 'neighborhood' - one day I will convert I promise) and subway stations, and numerous walk up apartments in West Village, both Nelson and I fell in love (that is a big call but it was rare we both had our hearts set on the same thing) with this one bedder in Chelsea.  We put in an application on Wednesday and started a very intense multi-day 'where is the money?' exercise.  First of all we have to prove we (okay in 'we' I mean Nelson, but WE are a team) make at least 40x the monthly rent annually.  And because Nelson and I don't have US credit history, we were required to pay 6 months rent up front (including one month security deposit) - this would be made up of funds we wired from Australia, Nelson's pay, and his sign-on bonus.  We had to provide proof (more letters for Nelson's employers to write - sorry guys) that they have processed the various payments, and were advised the application would not be approved before the balance shows up in his bank account.  Last but definitely not least, we also have to pay the brokers 15% of the annual rent as their broker fee.  (I definitely feel like we have both shit ends of the rental stick - we are landlords back in Sydney and we have to pay the property managers fee)

Anyway, after all the running around, writing polite but really pushy emails and making phone calls, our application was approved Friday of our first week in Gotham (with lease signing scheduled for the week after) and we pick up the keys and move in next week! Yeehaw to our New York efficiency!

The money shown, the money gone.

The 'joy' of full-time furniture shopping will be revealed in next post on week 2!

Honorable mentions of Week 1 highlights:

- We do have a lovely studio in mid-town for our first month.  Owned by a super nice but slightly dramatic guy who gave us an hour-long debrief of the unit.  It is very comfortable and acts as a safe haven when we were figuring our way around here.  I know this will remain a very special place as our first stop of a new adventure.

- Accidentally became a busker in Central Park: someone told me about this drum circle in Central Park so I decided to join (it had been my dream since I watched 'the Visitor').  I was having fun, grooving along, until tourists started throwing us money.  I went into a full on panic when one of them started taking close up video of my hands.  The other drummers were crazy good which didn't help!  Nevertheless I went back the week after - I think there is a part of me who wants to be a wild busker.  (if you feel the need to throw me some money over online banking I welcome them with my open busker arms)

- Ramen at a random Japanese cafe in West Village is so to-die-for.  I would move to 'the village' solely for that ramen if not all of the apartments are damn walk ups.

- One of our luggages didn't make it to New York with us.  I call it a highlight because I was quite pleased about having to carry one less bag (Positive thinking does not get better than this).  Having said that it was THE bag that has all our clothes in it so I had to wear my aeroplane clothes to my first drum circle.

- Excellent up-to-Aussie standard coffee at Lucid cafe, corner E 38th St and Lexington.

Blazing on!