Forget about the train running late again, or trying to pick up a bargain at the End of Year Clearance Sales, these days what really makes me sweat is to find a table for myself and my friends in a CBD foodcourt at lunchtime.
If you work in an office, surely you would understand that lunchtime is like the highlight of my days. And who else to share the moment with apart from your 'friends' at work?
However, a well deserved mealtime will have to be earned with discipline, teamwork, and lastly, a bit of blessing from the Lunch God.
Firstly, you have to make sure you leave almost before 12 o'clock and dash to the chosen foodcourt without any sidetracking on the way, no stop-to-smell-the-roses business! It is all about getting to your destination on time. Secondly, spot a table. Then you assign today's desinated table-minder, who will dutifully sit at the table and guard it like it is their first-born, from lunchtime predators who would sneakily steal half of your chairs and 3/4 of your table space. Normally the desinated table-minder's lunch would be taken care of by someone from the rest of the group.
Above scenario is when the Lunch God answers to your prayers.
Now what is with the people who prefer to eat alone and on a 4-person table? What is with the type who orders ONE cup of coffee and read their papers with such interest that they cannot see people standing next to them with noodle soup on a tray (reading the papers? Isn't that what you do at breakfast anyway?). And dont even get me started on Mr.BYO Lunch. I once saw three suit-wearing men each bringing their own LOAF of toast, I mean, a whole loaf! I watched in amazement as they started spreading their BYO vegimite/butter on their toast. I guess at least they have friends.
Once we start to eat our lunch (oh the joy!), you then have to watch out for the overly-efficient cleaning staffs who would snatch your coke bottle with still 5% coke remaining - so you feel that you have to leave and give up your table to the next hungry patrons once all the coke bottles are gone. But why can't we hog the table like the people before we did? The Nigel-no-friends, the BYO tribe, and the youths who look like they are actually having their highschool reunion there?
I suspect all the large companies got together and hired these people - hoping to trick us into having lunch at our desks and, if we insist to go out, to make sure we come back to the office ASAP. Lunch time battles can be lost but the war must be won. May the Lunch God be with you.
p.s. I sent this article in to the Sydney Morning Herald and they decided to publish it! How cool is that! Check out the online version http://www.smh.com.au/news/opinion/noon-comes-the-call-to-battle/2008/02/25/1203788246792.html
